Repair my Cuisinart for me?

The ad says it's not an expensive model. The gears were stripped when he tried to chop something big. It ends with "You'll need to come pick it up, I have no transport." Thankfully the guy does put 'need an estimate' in the compensation tab. However, I just can't help but balk at the idiocy.

I, even in my limited knowledge of mechanical repair, automatically think to myself, 'it's not an expensive model. I need to come pick it up. And I'm supposed to come up with an estimate for that? Shit, my estimate is: buy another damn Cuisinart! Or, as my boyfriend,
the artist neil collins, http://neilcollinsartist.blogspot.com/ suggested: We go pick up the Cuisinart with..."Oh Su-u-re, we'll bring it back as soon as it's done." Then you hit him with some of the anti professionalism that Craigslist seems to have come to promote. Like for instance, "Yeah, I don't have a phone right now. And I don't check my email much, so I'll just bring it back when it's done...oh yeah, we'll talk about the price later. Don't worry I'm an artist!" And he nods, "Yeah, ok, I'm sure you're good at what you do" I repeat, "Yeah, I'm an artist!"

So then, as my boyfriend, the artist Neil Collins, informed me, "Stripped gears, eh? Impossible. That sounds perfect for my new sculpture project. I'll take it apart just fine but it might not ever get back together the way it was before."

[I begin to fantasize]

So, yeah, I go get it, Neil works his magic on it, and i come back with this grand piece in a box, and I say

"Before I show it to you, I want you to know we took a little creative license, Cuisinart guy. He says, "Oh sure that sounds cool, let's see it."

So I smugly open the box and pull it out. And Cuisinart guy's, jaw drops, and he starts to stutter "wha?"

"That'll be $2000 and an extra $1000 if ya want us to make a sculpture base." I gleefully interrupt.

CG: [angrily] You!...what have you done to my Cuisinart? this is a scam you runed it!"

Me: "Now see here, this is not a ruin, it's a fine piece of art !"

CG [beginning to resemble a nice red bell pepper which is probably what ruined his Cuisinart in the first place]: but...but....look at it.

Me: I am looking at it, it is amazing, don't ya see, look at the form, the texture, the nice patina. This is an expertly welded sculpture. Are you saying my boyfriend is not a good artist? huh, huh?

[C.G. stutters some more, turning even redder maybe a little purple in their now]

Can't you see how the stripped gears harmonize so perfectly with those carburetor parts on the side there?

C.G. [stammering] No! I-I mean...Shit!

Me: [incredulously] No? Are you calling this shit?

C.G. This is ridiculous, I'm...I don't know...I'm calling my lawyer!

Me: Hold on, hold on now, let's not jump the gun here [softening] look I like ya, so I'll do you a favor..Ima point out a few things that maybe nobody has ever brought to your attention.

[this is where I find, the ideal moment to start in with the lecture phase of the interaction, clearing my throat]

This is a moment, when one can see what separates us from the primates [i wiggle my opposable thumbs in his face] and all the other animals. Art is extremely important to the spiritual growth and evolvement of all humanity. While you won't get any public credit, whatsoever, from your miniscule contribution of a terminally broken Cuisinart. You will live with the knowledge that you have had this small part in the advancement of the human race... [C.G. still stuttering, tries to interject] No, no, let me finish! Now if you were to buy this sculpture from me, then you can look at it as an investment in the prosperity & future of your family, you're children and you're children's, children!

The End