suddenly sapo

suddenly Sapo was lying beside me

suckling at my hearth

large eyes - checking me out

sizing me up?

adoring me - abby said

perhaps

or perhaps we boh learned to adore each other

and oh I adore u

oh offspring mine

though I'm not entirley with u now

I'm not entirly with myself right now

but I'm getting there - I'm sure as hell getting there

suddenly sapo was lying beside me - crying collicky allnight

and asleep on my torso

snuggling 'gainst anyone who'd let him

and most happy nestled in a warm and full bosom

did you despair that

your mama's was so scant?

did you begrudge me that lack of cushion?

suddenly Sapo was bouncing in his jumpy chair

hung from the door frame

in my childhood home

little head nodding off

and learning to walk–took his first steps at my brother's trailer

and later to talk

and loving all who gave him time and more

just like his mama

just like me

and calling jon dad

Suddenly Sapo was grwng into a boy- and feeling my ire

my impatience

and often my sweet mother's love

though i regret maybe not often enough

and asking 'oh mama when's dad gonna change his mind? '

like he plucked the idea straight out of my soul

and starting kindergartn and hating school

and teachers

and living in and out of poverty

but always keeping his head held high

almost always

my little trooper

who struggled to get here

struggled with me

and Tita cheering

and Olga taking photos,

standing wide eyed before us

as his lil head finally emerged

my little happy boy

learning to be a lover

and a dreamer

and artist

philosopher and poet

you a genius, boy, an effing genius

and learning to accept me for all my downfalls

and traveling thru dads and friends and naming tita and bucko

Now Suddenly Sapo is becoming a young man

learning to play the bass

kissing his cousin/sis on the forehead

and playin with anjolaina

when marcus makes him mad

and still loving marcus and learning more patience

and enjoying jonah and micah & trish & jody

little sammy and tamia too

and playing shoot em up video games

and guitar hero superstar

and learning to appreciate the beauty of a well crafted film

rather than merely the special effects

and crying during 'Babe' and every touching scene

every touching thing

Suddenly Sapo is now waiting to stand

beside me

waiting for me to get my head out of my ass

and live up to my true and honest potential

Suddenly Sapo...waiting for me!



to my son andrees izak mogollon
© 18 February 2008